Last Friday I was called “stuck up.”
(I’ve also been compared with British royalty…which pretty much amounts to the same thing.)
These remarks tend to come from people who are — outwardly at least — very confident. Perhaps they think they’re doing me a solid by reminding me that I don’t fit in.
Trust me when I say that I don’t need the reminder.
But here’s the truth:
When they see “stuck up” (for not being the first to crack a joke or dominate the conversation)…
I feel an introverted woman doing a damn fine job of holding her own in a room filled with noise.
When they see a “goody-two-shoes” (for passing up the opportunity to get drunk or do drugs)…
I remember a decade of disordered eating and feel the power that comes with choosing what’s right for my body.
When they insist on using the word “perfect” as a criticism…
I see in THEM deep insecurity that comes out wrapped with barbed-wire.
(Perfectly imperfect is what I aim to be.)
I share this story in case you’ve also been criticized for being a little different. In fact, I hope you have.
Because it’s our differences that make us great, and what one person thinks of you should have NO bearing on how you feel about yourself.
But if they still feel so inclined to let loose with their opinion, you have three options for defense:
- Give back as good as you get (not professional, and not recommended)
- Absorb every word and let the criticism eat away at your self-worth (I’d prefer you choose option one)
- Act like British royalty: smile politely, a bemused expression is best, leave the conversation and mentally thank the arrogant son-of-a-b$@&* for reinforcing that you are even more unique and valuable than you realized
Self love and self compassion are secret weapons that most people don’t have in their armory. You do. So fire when ready.